I used to travel for business. A lot. Before the video conference, we used to actually go meet customers, which was a much better proposition. So, I was spending one or two weeks a quarter in Europe. I was in Stuttgart, teaching a workshop, when I got an email that said I needed to go to Taipei to teach a different workshop - one that really hadn't been written. I explained gently that I was probably not the right person, but I was convinced I was - i.e. I was ordered to go. After a few late nights on very expensive collect calls to American Express Travel, I rebooked my return flight to go to Asia first.
This trip was notable for two reasons - one, somewhere over the Pacific on the way home, I crossed one million miles on my AAdvantage account, and after I got home, I realized I had been around the world in one trip.
Dallas to New York to Stuttgart. Teach a workshop. Stuttgart to Frankfurt (on the train) to Hong Kong to Taipei. Teach a workshop. Taipei to Hong Kong to Los Angeles to Dallas.
Some random notes from the trip:
After two hours or so on the phone with American Express, I staggered down to the bar to see if I could get some dinner. The kitchen staff were all drinking in the bar, because the kitchen was closed. They opened it up to cook me some dinner. I still owe those guys.
Taipei was full. American Express could not get me a hotel. So, now I was flying halfway across the world to sleep on the streets. I finally booked myself a hotel on hotels.com after one of my colleagues said that you just put in the expense report that AmEx failed to find you a hotel. (It worked.)
On arrival, I was directed from one front desk to another front desk. Apparently, I had chosen a suite. It was one of the nicest hotel rooms I had ever visited. The tub came with rubber ducks you were allowed to adopt and take home.
When you needed a cab in the morning, the bellman would call a cab, tell the driver where you were going, and give you a small card that said "Give this to your taxi driver." It had the hotel address in English on one side and in Chinese on the other. So, you would bow, preset the card, and the driver knew where you needed to go. Genius.
IBM China Labs sent one of their people over to help me. After I answered a question, I would ask, "Does that answer the question?" The student would dutifully say, "Yes" and then my Chinese helper would get up and go on for five minutes in Chinese. Then, he would look at me, and say, "You may proceed." I finally said, "I know you're talking about me. Knock it off!" The joke was lost in the translation. He took me to dinner one evening to a brewpub called Strauss Haus. It had Italian food. Spaghetti and home-brewed lager. In Taiwan.